When your partner repeatedly invalidates you
I had a client who was told, every time she raised something, that she was shouting, too aggressive, too noisy. She believed it until she recorded a conversation and heard it back. She wasn’t shouting at all. That was just their way of shutting her down: “Look at you, you’re overreacting.”
I often ask clients to think back to who they were when the relationship started, and compare that person to who they are now. Are you happy with who you’ve become, or did you like who you were back then better?
If your partner eroded your confidence on day one, you’d notice, and you’d leave. It doesn’t happen that way. Said enough times, “no, that’s not what happened,” you stop trusting your own memory, then your own judgement, then whether you’re capable of anything at all.
If you can’t trust your own memory anymore, how are you supposed to trust your own judgement about anything else?
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