Listening to your partner’s pain
Accountability is owning your part in what hurt your partner. It’s actually listening when someone tells you they’re in pain.
If someone tells you they love you, but when difficult issues arise, they’re more interested in defending themselves, or worse, blaming you for raising it, I’m afraid that’s not love. If they know you’re hurt and refuse to engage, listen, or find a way through it with you, that’s attachment to the security you bring them, and fear of losing it, not love.
If your child fell over and grazed their knee, you wouldn’t tell them to stop crying. You’d hold them and help them feel better. That’s love.
“Let’s go back to normal” isn’t resolution. It’s an attempt to get back to that same security, without giving you anything you actually need in return. Being nicer after a row, without dealing with what it was actually about, is relief, and it will keep repeating.
Accountability and repair are the one thing that decides whether a relationship works or fails.
Curious whether accountability and repair are actually present in your relationship?
Take the free test. It’ll give you a detailed picture of this area, along with the other six, all part of your free report.
Take the Test